ive been thinking

everything is erotic

the turning of a door handle
the pressing of the keys of a piano

the way someone swings a bat

maybe im just a freak

i don't know why but this morning when I had a shower, my heart started beating so fast I thought god was smiting me  i couldn't sleep cuz the thunder kept me up, it just made me jump, and it made me laugh so much

i was trying to think of a story where I'm in the right, and you're in the right 

i took a breath and swallowed all my sins 
it felt good, like cracking my knuckles 
where you're hurting yourself
but it feels good afterwards
my shame should not feel good afterwards 

i hoping that once I was done
it would leave me and I would be okay
but it didn't and I still feel this way
i tried to excuse myself

see I know it's wrong
and I could help it
but I don't want to 
i am a glutton

i am lust
i am pride
i am freaking out in my mind 

i have everything to lose
and nothing on the line 
i wish I was a bad liar
i wish that it could be over now 

too much time on the hands 
makes a boy go insane 
but when I'm reading the clock
its all looking the same

it's a backstabbing shame
it's a kick in the head 

it's a backstabbing shame
it's a kick in the head

i am checking my inbox 
i am a business man 
the kids gather around 
i stick my head in the sand